Loud Pipes Save Lives

SOME OF MY PLAYLISTTTTISSSSTTTT

2009-06-04T15:50:34Z

Whatchu know about crack?
whatchu know about crack?
I know all about crack,
Ill show you ow to bubble form a pebble to a rock put the metal in your sock and it settle at the top,

Ill be there in a jiffy with a bag full of jiffy and i aint talkin bout peanut butter either brutha

And im T R U to the G A M E.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance,
la lA LA LA lola!

Please allow me to introduce myself, i'm a man of wealth and taste,
Ive been around for a long long year,
I was around when jesus christ had his moment of doubt and pain

Please to meet you, hope you guess my name,

To me, have some courtesy, have some sympathy and some taste.

Ive been looking for a trace, lookin for a heart lookin for a lover in a world thats much too dark,

Babe where you goin? whatchu gonna do?

You dont need my love, you got ta find yourself another peice of the action

Youre crazy hey hey< your fucking crazy oh child,

Mama let that boy play some rock and roll,

Give that boy some freedom dont get in his way

hes too young for the blues hes still inside his first pair of shoes...........................
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peteworthshakin @ 2009-01-07T16:26:00

2009-01-07T21:26:45Z

A rap video about torontos transit.

peteworthshakin @ 2008-12-05T21:30:00

2008-12-06T02:40:16Z

My friend wants me to get listeners to his band again sooo.........
www.myspace.com/thecastca

peteworthshakin @ 2008-11-27T15:24:00

2008-11-27T20:25:42Z

6 video game gimmicks that went away too soon(and 6 more that need to die.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15230_that-went-away-too-soon-6-more-that-need-die.html

PrayStation 6 most misguided christian video games.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15672_praystation-6-most-misguided-christian-video-games.html

sample quote:Suppose you own a Super Nintendo, but the 16-bit graphics have too many rounded corners and smooth surfaces for your eyes. Also, imagine that your idea of a fun game involves taking an existing PC game about shooting nazis, and reskinning it so that you are throwing fruit at animals that puts them to sleep. Having a difficult time imagining that? Well, then you'll have a hard time imagining why anyone in their right mind would buy Super 3D Noah's Ark.

Hell, we had a tough time even imagining why ID software would let a company like Wisdom Tree take over Wolfenstein3D, the grandpappy of all first-person shooter games and transform it into ... well, just a random grandpappy running around tossing melons at sheep.

Writer's Block: Under the Tree

2008-11-19T20:49:53Z

What gifts, big or small, are you hoping to find under the tree this year?

Drug Fueled MADNESS!

2008-11-18T21:27:55Z

So about ten days ago i posted a short poem i came up with well today i came up with somthing else and realized tha i could colaborate it with the other one. Its nothing great but i had to get itdown onto paper then onto here to see what others thought. Its not finished either i like to keep all my poems and stories ongoing.

Ill just write both now.

Sharp pain running through my body,
Standing in the rain Looking shoddy.

Waiting for the medicine man to take the pain away.
Will the madness ever stop, sometime?some day?

Ive spent alot of my life travelling ,chasing drugs.
Following my skin looking for little bugs.

Problems with life? Yea everyones got em.
But me? I kept falling from the top till i hit rock bottom.

Travelling the country is what set me free.
Its when i was still that the drugs got to me.

A needle peircing my skin like a knife.
Day by day taking away my life.
........................................
Thats all i got for now. Note that i do not actually like reading poetry or really writing it for that matter but every few months ill come up with somthing like that off the top of my head. Today it came about as i was thinking about my past experiences.

peteworthshakin @ 2008-11-12T16:00:00

2008-11-12T21:08:20Z

So we have this test at my pre emp-loyment program and its called CAAT test. I dunno what it stands for but anyways theres two parts to the test. so we took part one about a month ago and now part two we did on thursday. Each test is spit into three parts. I doint remember all three from the first hal;f but the second half was MATH,Problem Solving and Mechanical soloutions. THe math part i got grade 6 average. Ill admit i suck ass at math and didnt need the test to tell me that. The problem solving was still math but put into word problems i got a grade 11 average.(I can so all types of matrh if its like this.) ANd this is what im proud of... for the Mechanical soloutions i was in the 90 percentile. I didnt know what that means but the coordanitor told me it meand that only ten percent of people who do it got better scores then me. I asked what the average was and she said it was about 22.5 percentile,so i guessum all those times i was told that im mecanicly inclined it was true.

I dunno that brightend my day. That ajn ther fact that i got a check. WOO HOO TAKE OUT TONITE. IM takin Erika(my daughter) on a date. maybe take her to a movie.

I wonder if that madagasgar movie is outt yet.

peteworthshakin @ 2008-11-11T16:08:00

2008-11-11T21:09:01Z

If you saw ME in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for?

Answer me, then post to your own journal if you want, and see how many crimes you get accused of.

Zombies and how to get rid of them

2008-09-05T20:11:07Z

Dear Cecil:

I'm reading World War Z by Max Brooks, a fictional account of the world's response to a zombie outbreak. In the book the U.S. military fails miserably in its first real battle against the undead but later changes tactics and ultimately triumphs, as does the rest of the world. I have always wondered how the U.S. military would realistically fight the undead. I hope you can answer.

— agibson

Cecil replies:

You're absolutely right, A. — this is a situation that calls for realism. Were we realistic about Iraq? No. You see what happened. If I have anything to say about it, we won't make that mistake twice.

We need to understand the zombie threat before we can formulate a practical plan for combating it. A review of zombie movies tells us they have the following common characteristics: they're generally slow, stupid, and unaffected by bodily damage, they don't have working circulatory or respiratory tracts, they're not fazed by heat or cold, they can't drown, and their thought processes are degraded to the point that shock and awe don't have an appreciable psychological effect. This leaves you with basically three options: immobilize them and leave them to rot, decapitate them or destroy their brains (they apparently do still have central nervous systems, demonstrating that even a modicum of intelligence can be a fatal flaw), or obliterate them entirely.

In The Zombie Survival Guide (2003), which remains the definitive and possibly only treatment of the subject, Max Brooks recommends for hand-to-hand combat something that can efficiently slice zombies into bits, a two-handed Japanese katana (samurai sword) being ideal. (Also receiving high praise are the compact yet deadly WWI trench spike and the much larger and deadlier ancient Shaolin monk's spade.) Brooks says forget about chain saws — no matter how cool they are, they just aren't reliable enough and require fuel, which may run out at a critical juncture. Firearms are a good choice if used properly — you need to aim for the head, rather than waste ammunition on the body. Even a zombie cut in half with automatic weapon fire can still crawl toward you. An old-style combat rifle such as the M1 Garand is perhaps your best bet. The semiautomatic action conserves bullets, and the heavy stock (useful as a bludgeon) and detachable bayonet give you options when the ammo is gone.

The living dead have no fear of fire, which makes it a great weapon. Zombies engulfed in flames will not only not put themselves out, they'll continue to wander around, possibly setting other zombies alight. Electricity will paralyze zombies but usually not kill them outright unless it also sets them on fire and so isn't advisable as a first line of defense. You might think that nuclear weapons would be a good possibility if a city were 100 percent infected, but the downside is that any surviving zombies will be not only shambling horrors but radioactive too.

So what would our military do? Even though the standard-issue M-16 is inferior to the Garand, we have lots of troops and bullets, assuming they're not all tied up indefinitely in the Middle East. Since zombies can't breed except by spreading their infection, containment and quarantine would be necessary to protect uninfected urban areas — typically the sort of job assigned to FEMA, which we may want to rethink. After that, the military could surround and wipe out the zombies using time-honored (and very Hollywood) tactics such as high explosives, incendiaries, and massed gunfire. The army and marines would likely do the heavy lifting, with air force and navy fighters providing close air support. As long as the military can protect the troops from infection and isn't handcuffed by liberal politicians who really want the zombies to win, we should be able to handle things. Strategy and using the stupidity of zombies against them is key, as exemplified in Brooks's recounting of what he tells us was the largest zombie outbreak in history — 121 AD in Scotland. (Also the home of the Picts, who fought naked while painted blue. Combat in ancient Scotland was definitely a trip.) Using funneling trenches, flaming pitch, and swords, a Roman force of 480 men was able to dispatch 9,000 zombies with only 150 casualties.

If faced with zombies controlled by a sorcerer or other evil power (as in the classic 1932 film White Zombie), you might save yourself some trouble by having Special Forces teams take out the head guy, though this approach is hardly foolproof — again, witness Iraq. The main thing is, don't underestimate zombies. So often in trying times one thinks, these brain-dead losers can't possibly continue. Yet somehow they do.

www.straightdope.com/columns/080829.html

peteworthshakin @ 2008-08-14T01:38:00

2008-08-14T05:41:14Z

OK im trying to help a good buddy of mine advertise his band. Check it out its an indie band.

kinda like the arctic monkeys
www.myspace.com/thecastca

My wife told me to tease her so i said "alright then fatass"

2008-08-11T20:51:42Z

Q:Why did the Rubber fly across the room. A: It got pissed off

Q:Whats the difference between a hog and a man. A: A hog dont have to sit in a bar all night buying drinks just so he can fuck a pig.

When i was young i used to pray for a bike and then i realized god doesn't work that way so i stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Start with a joke

2008-05-24T05:37:48Z

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."

The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.

Now for the real life joke...... I ate a whole bunch of ants awhile ago. Weve been having this little ant problem where a little bit of food on the ground(ERIKA) will atract tons and tons of ants. So i woke up in the morning and went to sit down and read a newspaper and eat cookies. After i finished most of the cookies(about five of them) i was reading the paper and felt somthing on my hand so i looked and saw an ant and flicked it off. few minutes later i felt somthing again so i turned my hand around and saw about 5 ants so then it dawned on me and i looked at the hal;f eaten cookie and there musta been 20 of them on the cookie. so i looked in the package and sure enough there was about a thousand ants crawling all over the cookies. i musta ate a few hundred of them.

Just goes to shiow how tired i am in the mornings. If i hadnt noticed them opn my arms i would have never known.

they didnt even have a taste or anything but when i think about it i think the cookies were a teeny bit crunchyer then normal.

peteworthshakin @ 2007-07-07T23:54:00

2007-07-08T04:41:58Z

A woman is speeding down the highway, comes up to a bridge, flies over it. Well a cop was sitting under the bridge, targeting speeders, and clocks her doing 20 over.

He pulls her over, and being a smartass, says, "Well, what's your hurry?"

The woman says, "I really have to get to work."

the cop says, "oh? And what do you do for a living?"

Woman says, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop says, "What? What the hell is a rectum stretcher?"

Woman says. "Well, first i have to slide in 1 finger very very slowly, then another finger, till i can get my whole hand in. Then i slowly put in the other hand. When i have both of them in, I slowly start to stretch out the rectum, a little at a time, till it's about 6 feet big."

The cop says, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?!?!?"

Woman says, "You give him a radar gun and park him under a bridge."

peteworthshakin @ 2007-06-29T19:14:00

2007-06-29T23:16:43Z

PAN HANDLING WORKS IF YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT SIGN!
Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a
lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10
bills every day.

Jose says, "Look at your sign." It reads: "I have no work, a wife
& 6 kids to support"

Carlos looks at Jose's sign.

It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"
\

peteworthshakin @ 2007-05-21T22:38:00

2007-05-22T02:38:55Z

Your socks they smell, your feet they stink,
You never take a bath.
Your nose it runs, you bust your buns,
You always finish last.
[Chorus:]
Sick! (Sick) Of!
(Of) Youuuuu.
I'm so sick, so sick of you.
Your face is gross, you eat white toast,
You don't know what to do.
It's just your luck, you really suck,
That's all - I'm sick of you
[Chorus]
(Bring it down... I said bring it down! Thank you)
Don't ya know? So sick of you.
Things you say, and all the things you do. [x6]
[Chorus x3]
Human filth.. Sick!

peteworthshakin @ 2007-05-07T17:03:00

2007-05-07T21:05:55Z

Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, both work together. The white guy came in late one morning and his black friend asks where he had been.

The white guy says, "My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night".

The black guy says "I can't get my wife to have sex with me, no matter what! How do you do it?"

The white guy says, "I read her poetry every night."

His black friend then asks, "What kind of poetry?"

The white guy replies, "Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, how I want to make love to you." Then the white guy tells his friend to go home and try it - it's a sure thing!

The next morning the black guy was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm is in a sling.

The white man asks, "What happened?!"

The black man says, "Man, don't ever speak to me again!"

The curious white man asks, "Well, what did you say to her?"

The black man replies, 'Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, bend over bitch, and take it like a dog!!"

peteworthshakin @ 2007-05-07T16:25:00

2007-05-07T20:28:58Z

This is a pretty stupoid rant but its somthing that pissed me off since i was a little kid. You know those giant mr freezee things. yea the ones you tet at a store for 50 cents. well for some fucking unknown reason every single time i ever bought one since about the age of 10 (thats as far back i can remember this happening) every time i bought a fucking blue one it leaked on me vfrom the bottom. EVERY TIME i thyink i only had 2 or threre last suimmer that didnt but every other one has and i dont know why. and now its doing it to mne again right now.

peteworthshakin @ 2007-05-07T06:36:00

2007-05-07T10:39:50Z

TABASCO® brand Pepper Sauce: 2500-5000 Scoville Heat Units

Thats the original tabasco sauce. Scoville units are what they use to measure the heat.

Now check this out

http://www.hotsauceworld.com/357maddogcoe.html

600,000 Scoville units

I need to get a credit card and order this shit.

peteworthshakin @ 2007-05-01T04:13:00

2007-05-01T08:16:04Z

CENSORESHIP CAN BE FUNNY!

peteworthshakin @ 2007-04-27T18:45:00

2007-04-27T22:49:38Z

Fuck your mother!

Shrek is one of my favourite movies and i dont care much for the second one but this one looks awesome

peteworthshakin @ 2007-04-25T20:27:00

2007-04-26T00:29:08Z

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea .. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

peteworthshakin @ 2007-04-25T16:38:00

2007-04-25T20:40:16Z

Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed.

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.

Now...what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Ed replied

I wan this fucking laser

2007-04-22T21:29:48Z

peteworthshakin @ 2007-04-14T08:38:00

2007-04-14T12:40:41Z

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you assholes who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you assholes who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat fuck in the kitchen

peteworthshakin @ 2007-04-13T19:19:00

2007-04-13T23:20:58Z

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance .. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week That's about 60 bucks a Month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up With something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little
ones of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable!